The blog

Sometimes, I just don’t want to do anything. I would like to curl up and sleep my day away for no good reason at all. Especially after fighting with the computer for hours filling out forms for college. And, honestly, I’m starting to feel a little nervous about the whole thing.

I know everyone gets nerves about such a tough thing as going to another state for college, especially in a big city when the biggest thing they’ve ever faced is Omaha. But It’s the money thing that scares me, not just leaving my family. There’ll be new responsibilities like making payments on time, making sure the money is there, getting a new job, and finding out what I should do with some personal obligations that I may not be able to afford anymore. With all that, and coordinating a lot of other stuff on my mind, it’s hard to keep things in perspective.

And yet, I know that everything I am seeing right now will play out a lot slower than I think. I will have time to make decisions, work for money, ETC and, also, I will have the rest of my life afterward. It’s hard to remember that your life doesn’t end at a big event, but that the big event, whatever it is, leads to more, that is greater. And it’s also hard to remember that you’re looking at something that is the barest knowledge of what you’ll have (worst-case-scenario sort of thing). After all, one never knows what new opportunities are afforded later on.

So, in the end, I decided it wasn’t worth worrying about. No matter what, the sun will still rise, I’ll still have fresh air in my lungs, and I’ll have a big world full of possibilities waiting to happen. So, even though I’m nervous, I’m excited; elated; exhilerated because of the ‘new’ and ‘exciting’ that is waiting for me just around the next bend.

Have a good week!

Well, I managed to make it back onto the website without a virus eating my cyber self, which is very good.

So some good news, my nose is peeling. Ok, yeah, that’s actually gross news and not really good, but at least it’s means I got my good ‘ol vitamin D Better news, I wanted to finish the story that I started in creative writing last semester before summer is over and I leave, and I actually might be able to do it! I’m excited; it would be great to have a whole story together before I take off to Wheaton.

Honestly though, without school and work, together draining every microorganism in my body of every bit of creative energy it has, I have been thinking a lot more when I get bored at work (often). One of the weirdest things that come to my mind is how we view ourselves.

Sometimes you think about it, sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you live in a fantasy world, and sometimes you’re crushed by utter reality. Occasionally you’re strong, and a lot you’re crippled, and all these go into how we view ourselves.

Now I am willing to put myself in a rather awkward place here because the things I am going to tell you about my own findings are… well… at times, silly, vain, or, who-da-thunk-it, downright weird. But I’m a writer and these are the kind of things I think about, so bear with me.

See, a grocery store is a very great place for inspiration, with its motley assortment of people to pick from. Some of these things are how I would view myself, and some are how I imagine other people. Take this one guy, we will call him A. So, A is a, straight-up, jack-A and a pervert. Since he started about two months ago, two chick co-workers have already screwed around with him, one of them cheating on a boyfriend who happens to be an underling of A. Well, of course there are tons of stories about this guy floating around the workplace, none of them good. Well, he happens to work in produce and he, very kindly, cut me a slice of cantaloupe to eat one day while I was taking back the trash. Wait a sec and I’ll get to the point. So, this guy is always nice to me. Never says nasty stuff, never acts like a jerk and is actually a decent sort of guy… toward me. Me, on the good side of a bad person, walking the edge, always wondering if I will slip into his bad graces and see the side that I have only ever wondered about.

Another view I have of myself is a funny one from an outsider’s standpoint. There is an old man, very lonely, who will wait outside for me after my shift. Creepy, yes just a little, but, as long as I have an escort (manager mandated) to my car, he’s harmless. Well, as I come out of the doors he will say good night and maybe make a quick conversation before I am whisked away by my ‘bodyguard’. In a story book, I would be the grand princess, glancing back over her shoulder at the young man from humble surroundings, whom she is barred from seeing because of her status, but she desperately loves. Oh, and please do not misunderstand; this is an inside view of myself, not the old gentlemen who waits for me.

Another, and one of my favorite ideas was what I think of as the ’subversive meeting’. It was simple. I was checking, and a certain co-worker was walking by my check stand. I had just helped out a man in his forties who was bagging up his groceries at the end of the lane. As the co-worker walked by I saw the man talk from where he was bent over, glancing up at him a bit. My co-worker did not reply, did not look at him, but smiled the tiniest bit and, seemed to, nod. Only a little. Well, of course they were spies. The one was relaying a message to the other!

Now, I do have a point in all of this, and it comes down to what makes me a writer first and foremost. I could still, you see, have no technique and amazing stories if that’s what I was meant to be. These hapless delusions, ideas, and grand imagery have a purpose in my life. Now, what I do is write others, but I don’t know if others actually think that way. I hope some of you do, but my point is this; beyond the world we know, even in a dull grocery store full of checkers, clerks, managers, underlings, customers, aisles, departments, and (of course) groceries, is another, quite different. It is full of dazzling ideas; slaves yearning for freedom; soldiers fighting wars and helping those they protect; the occasional overlords who squeeze every ounce of strength from those around them; those who fight the overlords with burning spirit and pride; we have the wealthy upper class, oblivious to the goings-on around them; there are isles in which our night pirates dock to drink their whisky and smoke in utter disregard for ‘ordinary society’; places like Antarctica, the kitchen where the king’s food is made, and the wild jungle where the fruit grows; and, of course, we have groceries, which need absolutely no changing ^^

But… through this all, I know my grocery store is just a grocery store, an ordinary, even mediocre, one at that. And I know I am just an employee, scraping away for what living I can earn working there. However, maybe it isn’t. Maybe I’m not. Maybe that beautiful world I can imagine, the cities, the buildings, the characters, the fantastic stories that could be weaved from this abundant thread I can find, is what my workplace really is and it’s just as real, when I get it on paper, as the original (and duller) one. And, maybe, I’m not just a worker trying to scratch out a living, but a Writer, bold and strong, seeing the world as more than it actually is by merely realizing the full potential of everyday. Maybe. One can never tell. Or maybe, the whole point of writing this is to say how I came about finding the truest view of myself that I could. I have discovered it; I am a Writer. 

Well all, that’s everything I have for you for now. I’ll hopefully be back with you soon and thanks for reading.

Have a good week!

Sarah

 P.S. I did an image search for the word ‘glorious’ on Google, and there were a lot of interesting pictures… but these were my faves ;P As always, be careful going to other sights; I can’t control their content.

http://larvalsubjects.wordpress.com/2009/01/20/towards-a-flat-ontology/

http://www.rosesuk.com/rose_locator/roses/hybrid_tea_spiral_bud_form/402_glorious.php

http://www.journeysphotography.com/

Well part one of my summertime thing is officially kicked off. Ha ha, first of all, I want to say that, amazing as it is, even though I supposedly have all this extra time because of being out of school, I NEVER GET ANYTHING DONE!!!!!!!!!! GAH!!!!!!!! So you… summer doesn’t have enough time… just throwing it out there.

Anyway, my mom recently printed out a list for me of college dorm necessities and it looks like underwear and socks are going to fast become precious commodaties, along with such things as tablets of laundry detergent, a mini-fridge, and a microwave with many microwavable food items to cook in it. Also coffee, but I already knew that. This list also, very kindly, pointed out that I wouldn’t need a vaccuum because, let’s face it, who is going to be cleaning (unless the mess turned atomic, in which case, INTERVENTION).

Looking at the list though, I was suddenly struck with a realization of how soon this is going to be… and how alone I was going to be. Yes, this list of survival items, witty advice, and the occasional odd story, was going to be one of the few weapons I would have on my side heading into college. Strangely, though I was intimidated, I was… exhilerated. I wasn’t scared.

I only just realized how scary moving out is, and, really, I’m kinda glad I have college to help me along on that. But, anyway, that’s this week for you.

For now, I await notification of my roommate so we can coordinate on stuff to buy. I’m also waiting to be assigned a counselor and stuff. So I’ll keep ya posted as that comes along For now, I’m signing out!!

Sarah

P.S. This web page is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!!!!!!

Well, having officially been on break for a whole week now, I decided I had better start writing again.

First, I must say, I do enjoy getting out earlier than a lot of people, even if it is only a week or two, because it’s fun to laugh at them about it. Also, the break has been nice so far. I’ve got some writing done on the story I began in creative writing last semester, and I’m going to start brushing up on my Japanese for the tests this fall.

Right now I am in the middle of transferring from Iowa Western to Wheaton College in  Wheaton Illinois, and, man, I am so excited! I’m absolutely terrified too, but that’s alright. I’m just so nervous about moving into a dorm, figuring out how things work around my new campus, and leaving my family. Like I said, though, I am excited; it’ll be a great new step in my life and, I’m sure, once I’m used to it, I’ll never want to go back

I’m waiting, at this point in transferring, for news about who my roommate will be so we can collaborate on what we need for our dorm. Other than that, this looks like it’ll be a nice, lazy summer, which I’m looking forward to enjoying.

Well, enjoy Memorial Day weekend and I hope nobody is rained out.

Have a great one!

Sarah

*Memorial day Memorandum*

 In dedication and memory of those who lost their lives

Unselfishly giving all…

http://pjbottoms.wordpress.com/2008/05/25/they-shall-not-grow-old-memorial-day/

…So that the rest of us may live… free.

http://homesbychrysti.com/VFWPost4647/about/

Yes, I did say goodbye. No, this is not my last post forever, I have been allowed to blog about my transition to Wheaton. If this were my last post it would be much sadder.

I am saying goodbye to the semester and to all of you who are graduating and leaving Iowa Western. Goodbye, and I hope you have a wonderful life I also wanted to take a minute and say thank you to everyone who has read my blogs thus far, whether you started last week or last year, I have appreciated the support and the comments in this, my first real writing job. I also wanted to say a quick thank you to Lindsay Koch, she’s been a great boss. Also, to all the teachers that have meant so much to me, Sharon Eden, David Kay, Rosemary Moore, Hersh Rodasky, Gary Fiscus, Coreen Wees, all of you! You have been so great and I love you all so much. Thank you all, and thank you Iowa Western for giving me this opportunity and giving me such great classes to learn from.

Thanks and evryone have a great summer!!!

Signing out,

Sarah

So, when I finally run out of weird observations of the world, I fall back on what all writers could do in their sleep that requires little, or no, actual ‘work’; reviewing. This can be very funny if it’s negative, or very very boring unless the topic is a particularly interesting one. Thankfully, I got an interesting topic to do

Let me first say that Arla Clausen of the music department here at IWCC is amazing. I mean, WOW! That lady can put together a fantastic show! There was a recital performance of the choir, show choir, the Iowa Western gentlemen, and jazz band on Sunday and it was phenominal! But there were empty seats, so some people obviously missed out.

As it was, though, I have some specific observations to talk about, mostly because a few of these people were in my applied voice master class and I totally want to give them kudos on a great job.

The first thing I noticed that night was that John Jones was wearing a tux, and if you’ve ever seen this kid… I dunno, it would have been the last thing you would pick for him to wear. But he pulled it off, I was surprised ;P But that’s not all, of course, I just thought that was funny. I wanted to say he’s a fantastic performer as well. I figured he would be; he has a very flamboyant personality and he uses it to the best of his advantage. Also, it helps that he’s worked hard to be a great musician both with singing and piano.

Josh Elwood did great too! He’s another in my master class and he’s always been kinda nervous getting up solo even though he has a wonderful voice, but he got up and performed solo and duet without a hitch on Sunday! I was so thrilled for him; totally knew he could do it.

I also got the privilage of finding another someone who rather stood out, but who I haven’t yet gotten to meet. His name was Evan Rayborn. Particularly, he did a rather hilarious solo in the spoof of the song ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight’ that the Iowa Western Gentlemen sang while show choir was setting up. He hit notes I haven’t heard some girls hit before! His vocal range was amazing really.

As always, Rebecca Ronz stole the show. I knew she could sing really well from Master Class, but I found out she a great dancer too! In Show Choir, she was, by far, the best dancer there. She caught your attention because she looked like she was actually trying, unlike a lot of the girls who were just kinda going through the moves they’d learned. The guys, I thought, did great in the dancing because a lot of the show choir guys were also in the Iowa Western Gentlemen group.

BTW!!!! My favorite song that Show Choir did (which was my fav part of the whole thing) was ‘42nd street’. Great job!

But, really, it was hard to pick a favorite part of the show because the whole thing was just stellar performing. Everyone did… I dunno, amazingly well, including the Jazz band! Casey Sheets, a friend of my sister’s, was in it and I totally didn’t know.

But anyway, I should probably wind down before I get off on another tangent Congrats to the music department, it’s obvious how hard they’ve been working this year Good job to all the music teachers and especially Arla for pulling it together. Hats off.

Sarah

you know, I’m surprised; I didn’t spill anything on my new shirt yesterday. Now, it’s not just that I’m accident prone, because I am that, but you have to know that I don’t ever really get to buy new clothes. Needless to say, I am poor So the last time I bought something really new was… oh, about last summer. Yeah, great huh? And this shirt, in particular, was the only new item of clothes I bought recently. SO, naturally, I thought is was doomed. You know how irony works. But, actually, so far, it seems to be ok.

Not that I am not doomed. I’m already near throwing up because I am incredibly nervous. I have a speech contest this afternoon at four, and I am so scared it’s not even funny (except if you’re not me). It’ll be fun though. I like these contests and stuff that IWCC runs because I have a chance of winning, like, $100 which would be sweet if I don’t lose my lunch first…

But anyway, I also did want to point out that I kept my promise from Monday to write another blog. Ha! And I was so tired that day that I *cough* almost fell asleep on my checkstand at work… Twice…

But anyway, I’ve caught up on my sleep now, as you can probably tell by the clear, unslurred wrtiign <– (P.S. that was so on purpos4e)

So yeah, as it is, I blogged, so I have fulfilled my promise to you. Wish me luck with the speech!… pleese!!!!!! I need it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAQAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Have a good weekend!!

Sarah

P.S.S. No typos were harmed in the making of this blgo.

May I start off with a praise for IWCC? I think I might. I just found out that my science credits will transfer fine into my new school’s science program so I should be able to finish my degree there in two years. Two years and I should have my bachelors in  Science and English! And I also found out that 56 of my 59 credits will transfer, so that’s exciting too.

One of my favorite things about Iowa Western is that I’ve been able to come here since I was sixteen years old, and that really helped me get a jump on my schooling. I mean, two bachelors by the time I’m twenty? That’s awesome! And it was only about five thousand dollars a year, managable even for me with my ‘wonderful’ grocery store job. So, there you go

Also I just passed my eighteenth birthday yesterday, which was very cool. I am very happy to finally be able to sign all my own release papers ;P Aside from that, I had my cousin over all weekend so I am utterly beat.

Hmm… and now I’m out of stuff to say except that I am hungry… and I think I shall go to the bookstore and hunt down some food. There’s my update, but I’ll give you a better one on Wednesday when I’m more awake

Have a fun Monday!!!

Sarah

Yes, the spam is definitely diminished. Awesome.

Well, it’s a gorgeous day outside! Nice, brisk wind and all that. The trees, I dunno, magically turned green all the sudden and flowers and grass are just popping up like… daisies… okay, bad joke, but you get my drift. The world is beautiful! I always manage to forget, over the winter, what spring is like, and how suddenly it just comes.

With spring comes enrollment for Fall classes and, if you are a freshman this fall and you’re deliberating, HURRY UP! Because, trust me, the classes you want will fill up fast. I mean, we’ve already had priority registration, so a lot of classes don’t have a ton of space.

Along with the oh, so wonderful springtime, comes the oh, so wonderful finals etc. and they’re coming up fast people! So hurry up and get stuff done in your classes because you don’t have a whole lot of time left! Twenty school days left to the end of the semester.

Another item I would like to add is congratulations to everyone who is graduating this spring. I mean, seriously, you all stuck with it and you’re getting your degree and that’s just fantastic! Congrats indeed and I hope your college expirience here at IWCC has been one of the bestest ever

Now, you may wonder why my blog is entitled ‘why’. Actually, that’s a very good question. This blog is about the word ‘why’. See, I can’t say that this is a magic word or anything, but it is the word of common sense. And I only just realized it.

I was thinking about this because, even though I am seventeen years old yet, three very drunk guys came into my work and tried to convince me to get drunk with them after I got off. Well, it didn’t seem all that alluring to go to some dirty place all sneaky and get drunk on cheap vodka with a bunch of dudes I didn’t know. I dunno, just… warning signs… ya know? So I tried the whole, ‘i’m under the age of eighteen’ and it didn’t work. I tried, ‘I have plans’. didn’t work. Drunk guys are just completely incorrigable. But there is one thing that I think might have quelled them. A question. A simple word; why?

No doubt he would have come up with some weird reason, but I got to thinking about this question of ‘why’? I mean, most of the times I’ve done something stupid, afterwards I asked myself something along the lines of ‘why did I do that’? Because it doesn’t make sense later. But then I was thinking about what would have happened if I had asked myself beforehand, and wouldn’t have done whatever it was without a satisfactory answer.

When I’m gossiping about a co-worker, why? I certainly don’t want to because that’s lame and pathetic. But… I do it… so why? When I put off my homework that’s due tomorrow, why do I do it? And ‘why’ also helps me to solidify my ideas. Like, I love to write, but why? What is it that drives me? And once I think about that, I start to remember all the things that went into my making that decision.

Yes, why is certainly a useful word. It can get you out of sticky situations, because, all to often, I find myself doing things without thinking, and the tiny word ‘why’ reminds me to do just that. It also helps to ste a goal, or to remember your purpose behind a goal. Why. Yes, it is a powerful word. Use it wisely.

Sarah

P.S. as always, explore outside sites with caution as I cannot take responsibility for them. But this is a fantastic picture. Jerry Reynolds, awesome

http://pantskicker.com/category/direct-your-mind/

Okay, well firstly, I’ve decided that the word ‘arguing’ looks like it’s spelled wrong. Second, I’ve decided ‘Out of Control’ by Capital Lights is an awesomely cool song Third, I have also decided that Breaking Benjamin shall be yet another band that I love forever. And, fourth, I am so glad I was born in this era of rock music. My dad will kill me for saying that Die hard oldies fan, ya know?

Anyway, I hate the irony of this all, but we just talked about antibiotics in Micro… right after I finished my wonderful amoxicillin prescription to kill the evil, evil streptococcus that had decided to take up residence in my body. I believe they are dead, but now I’m all paranoid about antibiotic resistance

But that isn’t on topic at all. I actually wanted to share a valuable lesson I have about arguing. Now, let me tell you first of all, if I have my mind made up on something, it’s for a good reason and I’m not going to change that view by now. Unfortunately, a lot of other people seem to be like this too. And, sometimes, we will get into arguments about whose view is better. Well, of course,  I know mine is! But, again, they feel that way too. so when we argue, it usually is quite pointless, because no one makes any headway with everyone else and it turns into this horrible little mess that we both eventually give up on and stomp away. That is, until speech class.

That is where I learned about concessions. And this is a revolutionary idea. Let me give you an example. I was arguing with some friends about why animals don’t have souls. Now I’m not going into all the reasons behind my thinking and everything, but lets just say, I’ve argued with these guys before about different things, and they will never change their mind. But, by the end of it, I actually had them saying that they would actually do some research and consider my hypothesis.

I was, now, speechless. No… way!!!!! That… that actually worked..? They… they just said… And then I fainted, I believe But the reason why they said that was because I said that, while animals did not, necessarily, have what we have termed ‘the soul’ they could have some sort of other metaphysical form, I just don’t know. Sounds plausible if you believe in such things.

Well, it worked once, so I tried it again. I was in an argument with a co-worker about polygamy. He was saying that it was fine because it was actually done in the Bible. I said, well, that’s all fine and good, but that practice was actually condemned by the religious leaders, so it’s not actually a Biblical ‘idea’, but was looked on as a ’sin’. And then, I found my second argument weapon. I said, but aside from all that, if you just look at it from practicality’s standpoint, it would still suck. Guys, you’ve seen girls fight before, right? Imagine being MARRIED to a bunch of women! They would squabble all the time in jealousy! And then there would be feuding amongst the kids! I mean, it would be horrible! Forget gray hair! You wouldn’t even have hair! You’d end up ripping it all out in frustration! Horrible.

So that’s what I’ve learned about arguing. If you want to argue with someone, I suggest you try using these two things. Now, not everyone will respond to these, but few can argue with practicality. Bring that up, and there’s no way they can say, “well, impracticality is just fine with me.” Also, concede! Acknowledge that their argument has a basis, but tell them why you believe your way is stronger. And, who knows, when you concede, you might just find that you think their argument is actually a better one than yours. Who knows! But it’s also a way to fight fair. So, go, enjoy!

I am going to go enjoy my last class of the week. And you do the same Have a great weekend!

Sarah