Reiver Weekend Survival Guide
Wow… Let me tell you about this weekend.
First off- TO 20 YEAR OLD BRUNETTE MAN IN THE RED SHIRT, THANKS FOR BRIGHTENING MY SATURDAY.
I just started my new job at Vanity at Mall of the Bluffs. I was nervous, I was late, and when I asked my fiance what he thought of my new outfit he looked away. “Klyn, Ill love you no matter what you look like,” is code for “You look horrible. Yes, absolutely horrible. You really should just burn that.” Too polite to say that to my face, I went to work in my new outfit.
Just when I thought that this first long shift would absolutely be the worst experience of my weekend, these 3 college girls came in with this guy in a red shirt. When they were buying their merchandise, he looked at his phone and said, “Um… shoot there’s something wrong with my phone. No really! There’s a problem.”
Being polite but not caring, I ask, “Uh…too bad, what’s wrong with it?” He smiles.
“Your number isn’t in it!” Awww. I flashed my just over 2 carat diamond and tell him I am flattered.
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Sunday. Sunday.
Occassionally, I like to take long walks with Czar and the fiance. We occassionally like to walk to the park, and I love to get the freshest air I can while he inhales a massive cigar. Yay for second hand park smoke.
Today however, as he is inhaling and I am enjoying the breeze and Czar is “wetting” every post, stump, and tree- we decided to over- extend ourselves to the community. “Hi there.” (To a group of kids). “Hello Ma’am” (to the woman on the swing). Most said something along the lines of hello back to us along with a “Look at the puppy!”
Then we get to this bench. “Hello Sir.” We say to this old man just sitting absent mindedly on the bench. No response other than a blank stare. “How is your day?” We are really trying now to respect our elders. We walk away from the mute old guy feeling like he is absolutely the rudest man we have ever met. At this point, we are both ticked off at him so we scoff and walk on. Jerks.
We walk up and down the railroad tracks and upon leaving the park, see a firetruck drive though. “What a silly town, seriously, the fire fighters just hang out in parks all day with nothing better to do.” We have a good laugh, and Czar wets another tree.
We go to Hy-Vee four hours later, and we notice a type-o on name brand Kool-Aid. 10/.10 Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we then bought 112 packets of Kool-Aid, valued at 1 penny each. Free drinks at our place!
Upon the check-out, the hourly wage employee rings up one packet at a time. Out of boredom he then says, “Hey here what happened at the park today?”
“Uh…what one?”
“Oh the one over there” and points and describes where we just came from.
“No…what happened?” Kool-Aid packet 71 was just scanned.
“Some old guy died on a park bench and this couple didn’t even do anything.”
No wonder he didn’t say “Hi” back to us.
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I can NOT wait for school to start tomorrow.